Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Hey Gy this will be the ending of the script im super sorry it came out so late! and lets really work hard this week to get everything done okay? please cooperate (: i love u guys okay? can we like stay back for a long long time oneday? so i dont have to waste your recesses? thankyous. we'll discuss tmr in class kaes? BYEBYES <33 i put the full script here for u! jia you!! so just copy and print! thanks. HENGGY
Scene 1: at home, arrival of newborn baby.
Ang: like omigosh! Like Urm dear! I like totally can’t wait to see how our son looks like!
Urm: relax, honey! [Doorbell rings] ah. Must be our delivery!
FedEx man: good day, sir! I’m from fedEx, and we [salutes] live to deliver. [goes back to normal] anyway, here’s your package. Sign here, here, here, and here. [points at paper]
Urm: okay dude! [Signs]
[FedEx man lugs a basket in]
Ang: like omigosh! I can’t wait to see our son! Open it! Open it!
Urm opens the cloth slowly.
Reveals the baby.
Urm and Ang: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Urm lifts baby up and throws in the air.
Baby starts to laugh nerdily [from backstage]
Ang: Urm dear, like, what did you just so totally do?
Urm: honey, I nerdified the kid!
[Look at each other]
Urm and Ang: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Scene 2: at the living room, 13 years later.
Ang sits at the table, reading fashion magazines. Urm is watching TV. Doorbell rings.
Urm answers the door.
Urm: YOU again! Didn’t you like, bring me enough bad news like totally 13 years ago?!
FedEx man: yes. But [salutes] it’s my job. I live to deliver! [Back to normal] anyway, YOU nerdified your kid! [laughs]
Urm: shut up dude! Like, What you want?
FedEx man: parcel for you. Sign here, here, here and here.
Urm: um. why must sign so many times one dude? [signs]
FedEx man: here’s your parcel! Bye! [Hands him parcel]
Urm: [bangs door shut] whats this? [Squints and starts turning parcel around and shaking]
Ang: [snatches from Urm and tears it open, pulling out a letter and hat]
Urm honey, how do you, like, read this thing?
[Turns paper all around, upside down]
Urm: eh. Uhh. Son! Come down!
Dren Pitt: [runs down nerdily] [pulls pants up] whats the problem? [look around, pauses] how may I be your great assistant, dad?
Urm: dude, err, read this thang!
Dren: [lifts it right in front of his face] dear Mr and mrs Pitt. We are pleased to tell you that your son has been accepted into our pogwarts school of popularity and unpopularity. Because you are, of course, our alumni. However, we require your son to try on this sorting hat.
Ang: (cuts in) Oh, like this small hat totally fits my head! That’s means I have lost weight! [poses ad admire her figure to the audience]
Dren: [continues] if your son’s head can fit the hat, he is therefore stupid, and POPULAR! If he can’t fit, I’m afraid he will be unpopular. P.S: since both of you are our most POPULAR school athletes, we made the hat EXTRA small, trusting your son will follow for foot steps!
Ang: [plops small hat on top of Dren] Dren! Like, force this in your head! SQUEEZE! SQUEEZE!
Urm: dang! Why won’t the hat fit! Well, go to school then! Wait! Another thing! [Thrusts another letter] and here’s some money! [Gives A LOT of money and a BIG credit card]
Dren: book list: for the popular people: cheerleading grade 1, guide to extreme popularity, popularity 101, how to eat tasty dirt. wand: cheerleading baton! COOL! Book list: for unpopular people: the study of the creation of nerds, nerd politics: why WE should be the popular, nerd 101, computer science and the discovery of nerdified subjects. wand: electronic antennae.
Dren: [laughs to himself nerdily] this is going to be so fun! [picks up school bag and put it on really high] [pulls pants, scratches butt and sniffs]
Urm: DUDE. The Poshcars are like tonight, k? remember to wear something pre…
Dren: Pre…presentable?
Urm: oh yeah. I so knew that. Preshuntable.
Ang: [click tongue] yes, and stop wearing those suspenders!
Dren: yes mom, bye! I will miss you both!
Urm: Like yea yea whatever. [waves hand]
Scene 3: along the corridor
[dren is standing outside the school corridor waiting for the bell to ring, smiles nerdily and says hi to everyone he sees]
[ the N.E.R.D club walks over]
Nerd pres: [points finger at Dren] you there! [laughs nerdily] fellow nerder! How would you like to join our N.E.R.D club? It is the Never Eat Real Dirt Club! [pulls pants, scratches butt and sniffs]
Dren: thank you for your offer, but ah
Nerd pres: but ah what? But the NERD force is strong with you! You were born to be like a nerd! Like us! See, [pulls pants, scratches butt and sniffs]
Dren: [ stares and did the same thing] oh gosh! Wow! [ laughs nerdily] [pauses and think] but I want to be popular!
Nerd mem: nonono! That word is censured in our club! [whispers] don’t ever say that word [pauses and look around] P-O-P-U-L-A-R! Say PEEP! [laughs nerdily with other members]
Dren: we are on the un PEEP side?
Nerd mem: yes! [excitedly] we are the PEEPERS!
[EVERYONE IN THE NERD CLUB GO PEEP]
[CONVERSATION IS INTERRUPTED BY THE POPULAR SIDE]
Popular guy: Hey there nerds! Wadsup! Like dude? Who is this loser? [ refers to dren]
Dren: oh hello! Let me introduce myself, erm, Dren, D-R-E-N!
Popular girl [Gretchen] : Like omigosh! I can so spell, right?
Karen [the dumb one]: well, I don’t
Two other popular girls responded: oh yea, like duh. We are the clever but mean girls, right? [laugh bimbotically]
Nerd pres: isin it nerd spelt backwards? So cool!
Popular girl: like, oh yea, but it is still gross!
[school bell rings]
dren: sorry, I got to go sign up for my cca now.
[dren runs off]
NERDs: may the NERD force be with you.
Scene 4: in the drama room
Drama seniors: this way up! In search for new drama members to replace us, the [pose] charlie’s drama angels!
Dren: [laughs nerdily] cool!
Drama seniors: eew. Na-ah. HE’s not so NOT going to be an angel!
[shakes heads]
drama teacher: helloz. I’m Charlie. And I am in charge of zee angelz. Welcome to your auditionz. Now Dren darling. Come, come, come. Just standz over herez and say this: I amz a charliez angel. I’ve got the zhape, ztyle, and the skillz!
Dren: ERR. [Dumbfounded]
Drama teacher: now, now, zon’t be zcared, zarling. Just read out zee lines. Zat’s all.
Dren: eh. I am a charlie’s angel. [scratches butt] hoiyah! [does some weird karate move]
Drama teacher: zat is zee last ztraw. I zon’t want you as my zrama angel. angels, kick her out! [points to the door]
Seniors: yes, Charlie.
Scene 5: at the posh cars.
Announcer: and here is the most famous couple ever to grace the red carpet of the 67th Poshcars award ceremony! ANG AND URM PITT!
Camera flashes all around. Ang and urm walk gracefully.
Men black 1: whoa, whoa, boy. No invitation, no Poshcars. You must be some fan!
Dren: I’m their son.
Both men in black: snort in laughter.
Announcer: and now, coming in, is their son, Dren Pitt!
Dren pulls free from men in black, scratches his butt and pulls his pants really high.
Other celeb 1: [walk past] omigosh, who’s that?
Other celeb 2: this is so… SOCIAL SUICIDE. Ugh!
Other celeb 3: imagine, if we were like THAT
Other celeb 4: its totally gonna ruin my socialite life!
Other celeb 5: poor ang pitt! She must have married the wrong man!
Urm: eh-hem. [very loudly]
Men in black 2: no discreet discrimination is allowed at the Poshcars. I’m sorry but you have to leave.
Three of them rush off.
Announcer: wow, looks like the threesome are running off! Too embarrassed of their nerdy son, eh? [Everybody laughs]
Scene 6: next day in school
Popular guy: hey, Dren. [Pushes him]
Saw you on TV yesterday, about the Poshcars thing. trying to feel the red carpet? Did it feel nice?
Dren: [eagerly] did you like it?
Popular guy: oooh, yes we all liked it, didn’t we? We also like your face in the toilet bowl!
They push Dren in the toilet and lock the door.
Start laughing.
Dren: hey open up! Open up!
Popular people walk off.
Toilet aunty walks by.
Dren: help me! I’m gonna die
Toilet aunty unlocks the door. Dren sprawls out.
Toilet aunty: boy! Why are you so stupid to lock yourself in the toilet?! It’s a girl’s one somemore! [laughs like a geisha]
Dren: huh? [scratches head] oh. Sorry.
Toilet aunty: you don’t even have muscles! [leans forward] come, I tell you something. Actually, I learnt shoalin kungfu before! So you can learn from me! So HOIYA! [Karate leg chop in the air].
Dren: intriguing! Teach me!
Scene 7: field
Cheerleaders do a cheer.
Rugby players pile on top of each other.
Dren: HOIYA! [does karate moves]
Cheerleaders look at him for one second, and start talking to themselves.
Cheerleader: like, I got this like totally smooth mud mask, its like soooo totally me, and the mud is soooooo totally smooth and creamy Im gonna buy a hundred packets of it!
Rest of the cheerleaders: COOL! [giggle]
Rugby players: oomph! Gerrof me! I can feel too much dirt in my mouth! Ugh!
Dren: wow, the rugby players and cheerleaders, they eat real dirt! [Ponders]
Dren: oh! I get it!
Walks around and pretends to do karate moves to attract popular peoples attention. Falls on mud [a mud pile].
Dren: AH! My like, totally unhot spectacles are like broken! [gropes head] and my head… feels smaller! I feel. POPULAR!
All the popular people rush to him and start talking to him.
Scene8 : orchard road
[Dren is walking along the road and may pretty girls stop to stare at him, some even whistled]
mean girls: Oh my! Look at that hot guy over there! Like omigosh!
[rushes to Dren and tap his shoulders from the back]
Dren: wads up, babe?
Mean girls: oh its you! Nerdy dren? Nonono! Not anymore! you are hot! [ cling arms around his arms]
[ A director sees dren and stops him]
Director: you there! You look like you have eaten real dirt! Come be my actor for my new movie!
Dren: like totally okay. Cos I’m, HOT. (tssss)
Director: but you ooze confidence! So celeb-like! Come, follow me! I’m making you my newest star!
Dren: dude, you totally wouldn’t know what you’re missing if you didn’t, dude!
Scene 9: Showbiz
The director Educating Dren on showbiz
Director: Now over here, we have our live entertainment section, made up of Dance (dance)…Drama(Juliet Juliet where fore art thou)…Opera(sing in opera-like voice)… and Magic(attempt to make something disappear)
And over here, is our music industry, made up of Composers and Songwriters(scribble like mad, chew on pencil)…Orchestras(conductor conducts) and Singers and Musicians(band play a few notes)
You do know that these are not the only components of show business right? There is still…the publishing industry, the exhibition entertainment (rattles off)Don't you think theres no other business in the world like showbusiness?
Dren keeps going (yeah. Yeah. Sure. Whatever. I knew that)
Director: And if you wanna earn da big bucks, you gotta have a change of name… what do you suggest?
Dren: (suddenly alert)I was thinking, by combining my parents names together… I shall be called ARM THE arm pitt. (flexes arms, evil laughter, lights flash on and off)
Director: Splendid indeed! (twirls mustache[if he has one]) Your name will be in the lights! (hand gestures) I can see it now! The Arm Pitt!
Scene 10: Poshcars
Announcer: and the poshest leading actor poshcar goes to ARM PITT!
Dren pitt: like, thank you! Like really thanks, you all. Firstly, I would like to say that my name is not just Arm Pitt but it’s THE Arm Pitt. And Secondly, I would like to thank myself and myself and myself FOR EVERYTHING!
[LOUD APPLAUSE]
2GY
and US ;
